FML段子集合

　　FML=Fuck My Life

　　是由外国一些搞笑的人自爆自己的囧事而开创的名词，并且在此名下有许多网站，然后在中国各大社区也开始风靡了。

　　根据其缩写FML，在国内的一些网友也将其称为“发霉啦”。

　　FML段子集合：

　　Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

　　Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

　　Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

　　Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs.He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

　　Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

　　Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

　　Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML

　　Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

　　Today, my sister had an accident at a stoplight because she was uploading pictures of herself driving onto Instagram. Not long after that, she posted a picture of the crash and commented, "My first crash lol." FML

　　Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

　　Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

　　Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

　　Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

　　Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

　　Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

　　Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

　　Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake.Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

　　Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

　　Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

　　Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

　　Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

　　Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

　　Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

　　Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

　　*类似网站：

　　发霉啦：(fameila)　FML即FuckMyLife，我们将其本土化翻译为发霉啦。

　　在生活中遇到的不可思议或者相当无奈的事情，怎么办，来发霉啦晒一下，让霉事晒太阳，为自己求人品。

　　实话实说FML!(SHSS)：发贴审理比较严格，适合积极向上的80及90后青年.另外还有手机WAP网站,相当方便宣传口号是 "与地球人分享你生活中各种哭笑不得的倒霉事, 发霉事. Everything sucks!...FML!

　　FML中文网(fml001)：国内创建最早的山寨网站，也是目前用户最多，更新最稳定的站点。内容包含转贴翻译和原创两部分，FMLer的口号是：用扯淡的勇气，直面艹蛋的人生。

　　小事一箩筐(xiaoshiyiluokuang)：以记录生活中的琐事为主，讲究细腻的文风。

　　FML中文自助互助学习社区：以学英文为主，全部翻译fmylife的内容

　　天雷啊(tleia)：国内山寨网站之一，以TLA代替FML

　　TMD(tmd001)：同上，以TMD代替FML，以上两个网站与原版网站版式基本一致

　　FML中文网之二(fmylife001)：国内山寨网站之一，内容主要包含英文FML的翻译，翻译质量和速度都比较高。

　　糗事百科- 365天内最最尴尬的糗事:国内最早的此类网站,建于2005，要比fmylife(2008建站)要早不少。