英语小笑话

　　下面是出国留学网编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!

　　英语小笑话【一】

　　1、The Fish Net

　　Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

　　A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

　　翻译：鱼网

　　你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。

　　把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。

　　2、律师和胳膊、宝马

　　A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

　　"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

　　"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

　　翻译：　一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

　　“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。

　　“你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”警察反驳说，“你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”

　　律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”

　　3、The New Teacher

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

　　I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

　　翻译：新老师

　　9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

　　乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。

　　妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

　　英语小笑话【二】

　　1、小心有狗

　　As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

　　一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 听到这个回答， 陌生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么?” “因为，” 店主解释说，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他绊倒。”

　　2、离婚

　　A husband and wife,both 91,stood before a judge,asking for a divorce."I don't understand,"He said,"Why do you want a divorce at this time of life?"the husband explained "Well , you see,We wanted to wait until the children died."

　　有一个丈夫和妻子都是91岁，他们站在法官面前，要求离婚。“我不明白，”法官说，“你们为什么到了这把年纪还要离婚?”丈夫解释道：“嗯，你是知道的，我们是想等到孩子们都死了(再离婚)。”liuxue86.com

　　3、死后重生

　　"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.

　　“你相信人能死后重生吗?”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信，先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。 “哦，那还好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后，她老人家到这儿看你来了。”

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